Grade: Grade 6 Subject: English Language Arts Unit: Claims & Evidence Lesson: 5 of 6 SAT: ExpressionOfIdeas ACT: English

Editing Workshop

Learn

Good writing is rewriting. In this lesson, you will learn how to revise argument writing to make it clearer, more convincing, and more polished. These editing skills are essential for the SAT and ACT writing sections, where you must identify and fix weaknesses in passages.

The Three Levels of Editing

Professional writers edit at three different levels:

Level 1: Content and Structure (Big Picture)

  • Is the claim clear and arguable?
  • Does each piece of evidence directly support the claim?
  • Is the reasoning logical?
  • Are counterarguments addressed?
  • Is the paragraph organized effectively?

Level 2: Style and Clarity (Paragraph Level)

  • Are sentences varied in length and structure?
  • Are transitions smooth?
  • Is the language precise and specific?
  • Is the tone appropriate for the audience?
  • Are there any awkward or confusing sentences?

Level 3: Mechanics (Sentence Level)

  • Are there spelling errors?
  • Is punctuation correct?
  • Do subjects and verbs agree?
  • Are pronouns used correctly?
  • Are words used correctly (their/there/they're)?

Common Argument Writing Weaknesses

Problem Example Solution
Vague claim "Things should change." Make it specific: "Schools should extend recess by 15 minutes."
Weak evidence "Everyone knows this is true." Add data or expert sources.
Missing explanation States evidence without connecting it to the claim. Add "This shows that..." or "This proves..."
Ignored counterargument Only presents one side. Add "Critics argue... However..."
Wordiness "Due to the fact that..." Simplify: "Because..."
Weak transitions Ideas jump without connection. Add transitions: Furthermore, Additionally, However

Precision in Word Choice

Replace vague words with precise ones:

  • "Good" becomes "effective," "beneficial," "valuable"
  • "Bad" becomes "harmful," "ineffective," "detrimental"
  • "A lot" becomes "significant," "numerous," or a specific number
  • "Things" becomes the specific noun you mean
  • "Very" is often unnecessary - use a stronger word instead

Editing for Concision

Cut unnecessary words to make your writing stronger:

  • "In order to" becomes "to"
  • "Due to the fact that" becomes "because"
  • "At this point in time" becomes "now"
  • "In my opinion, I think that" becomes just state the opinion
  • "The reason why is because" becomes "because"

Examples

Example 1: Full Revision Process

Original Draft:

"I think schools should have better food. The food is bad. Kids don't like it. If schools had better food kids would be happier and stuff. Some people say healthy food costs more but I think it's worth it."

Level 1 Edit (Content/Structure):

Identified issues: Vague claim, weak evidence, no explanation, weak counterargument response.

Level 2 Edit (Style/Clarity):

Identified issues: Repetitive sentence structure, informal language ("bad," "stuff"), missing transitions.

Level 3 Edit (Mechanics):

Identified issues: Missing comma after "food" in fourth sentence.

Revised Version:

"School cafeterias should replace processed foods with fresh, nutritious options. According to the CDC, students who eat healthy lunches have 25% better focus during afternoon classes. Additionally, a survey of 1,000 students found that 70% would choose fresh fruit over packaged snacks when both are available. These findings demonstrate that healthy food not only improves academic performance but is also popular with students when offered. While nutritious ingredients cost approximately 15% more than processed alternatives, the improvement in student health and learning outcomes makes this a worthwhile investment."

Example 2: Editing for Precision

Before:

"There are a lot of good reasons why schools should do more things outside. It's been proven that being outside is good for kids in many ways. Studies show that nature helps with stuff like focus and stress."

After:

"Schools should incorporate at least 30 minutes of outdoor learning into each school day. Research from the University of Michigan demonstrates that exposure to nature reduces stress hormones by 20% and improves concentration for up to two hours afterward. Outdoor education also increases student engagement and provides hands-on learning experiences that reinforce classroom instruction."

Example 3: Strengthening Transitions

Before (choppy):

"Homework should be limited. Students need time for extracurricular activities. Family time is important. Too much homework causes stress."

After (smooth transitions):

"Homework should be limited to 30 minutes per night in middle school. First, students need time for extracurricular activities that develop social skills and physical health. Furthermore, excessive homework cuts into valuable family time, which research links to better emotional well-being in adolescents. Most importantly, studies show that homework beyond the 30-minute threshold causes diminishing returns and increased stress without improving academic outcomes."

Practice

Complete these editing exercises to sharpen your revision skills.

Practice 1: Identify the Weaknesses

Read this paragraph and list three specific weaknesses:

"Schools should get rid of homework. Kids have alot of stuff to do after school. Homework takes up all their time and thats bad. Plus everyone knows homework doesnt really help anyway. Schools should just stop giving it."

Practice 2: Fix the Claim

Rewrite this vague claim to make it specific, arguable, and supportable:

"Technology in schools is an issue that needs attention."

Practice 3: Add Evidence

This paragraph makes claims without evidence. Rewrite it with at least two pieces of specific evidence (you may create reasonable-sounding statistics):

"Schools should teach typing starting in kindergarten. Kids need to type because everything is digital now. Being good at typing helps students succeed. Schools that teach typing have better outcomes."

Practice 4: Replace Vague Words

Rewrite each sentence replacing the underlined words with more precise language:

  1. The new schedule is really good for students.
  2. There are a lot of things that make homework bad.
  3. The program had very positive results on stuff like grades.

Practice 5: Cut Wordiness

Rewrite each sentence to make it more concise:

  1. In order to succeed in school, students need to get enough sleep each and every night.
  2. Due to the fact that test scores improved, the program was considered to be a success.
  3. At this point in time, there is a need for schools to provide more mental health support.
  4. In my opinion, I think that recess should be longer in length.

Practice 6: Add Transitions

Rewrite this paragraph adding appropriate transitions between sentences:

"Students should learn a second language starting in elementary school. Young children's brains are wired for language acquisition. Research shows early language learners develop stronger cognitive skills. Some argue that elementary school is already too crowded with subjects. The benefits of bilingualism justify the time investment."

Practice 7: Add Explanation

This paragraph has evidence but no explanation. Add 1-2 sentences after the evidence that explain how it supports the claim:

"Schools should offer free breakfast to all students. A study by the Food Research & Action Center found that students who eat school breakfast score 17.5% higher on standardized math tests than those who skip breakfast. [ADD EXPLANATION HERE]"

Practice 8: Complete Revision

Revise this paragraph using all the editing skills you have learned. Edit for content, style, and mechanics:

"I definately think gym class is important. Kids need exersize because there not active enough these days. Studies show that exersize is good for you're brain. Some people dont like gym but its still good for them. In my opinion I think schools should have gym everyday because of the benifits."

Practice 9: Strengthen the Counterargument

This paragraph has a weak counterargument response. Rewrite the last two sentences to fully address the opposing view:

"Schools should eliminate class rankings. Rankings create unhealthy competition that discourages collaboration among students. Research shows that students in non-ranked schools report 30% less academic anxiety. Some people disagree. But rankings should still be eliminated."

Practice 10: SAT/ACT Style Edit

Choose the best revision for the underlined portion:

"Student athletes perform better academically due to the fact that they learn time management skills."

  1. NO CHANGE
  2. because they learn time management skills
  3. because of learning time management skills that they learn
  4. due to learning of time management skills

Sample Answers

Click to reveal sample answers

Practice 1: Weaknesses: 1) Spelling errors ("alot," "thats," "doesnt"), 2) No specific evidence - uses vague claim "everyone knows," 3) Vague language ("stuff," "bad") needs precision.

Practice 2: "Schools should limit student cell phone use during class time to improve focus and reduce cyberbullying."

Practice 3: "Schools should teach typing starting in kindergarten. According to the National Education Technology Standards, students who learn keyboarding by third grade complete written assignments 40% faster than peers who learn later. Furthermore, a study of 2,000 students found that early typing instruction reduces repetitive strain injuries by teaching proper hand positioning from the start. These findings demonstrate that early typing education improves both efficiency and ergonomic health."

Practice 4: 1) "The new schedule is beneficial/effective for students." 2) "Several factors make homework counterproductive/harmful." 3) "The program showed measurable improvements in academic performance."

Practice 5: 1) "To succeed in school, students need enough sleep each night." 2) "Because test scores improved, the program was considered successful." 3) "Schools now need to provide more mental health support." 4) "Recess should be longer."

Practice 6: "Students should learn a second language starting in elementary school because young children's brains are wired for language acquisition. Moreover, research shows early language learners develop stronger cognitive skills in areas like problem-solving and creativity. While some argue that elementary school is already crowded with subjects, the lifelong benefits of bilingualism justify the time investment."

Practice 7: "This data demonstrates that nutrition directly impacts cognitive function and academic achievement. When students start the day with proper nourishment, their brains have the fuel needed to focus, remember information, and solve problems effectively."

Practice 8: "Physical education should be a daily requirement in all schools. The CDC reports that only 24% of students get the recommended 60 minutes of daily activity, contributing to rising childhood obesity rates. Furthermore, research from Harvard Medical School shows that physical activity increases blood flow to the brain, improving memory and concentration by up to 20%. While some students may not enjoy traditional gym activities, schools can offer varied options like yoga, dance, or outdoor games. The physical and cognitive benefits of daily exercise make PE essential for student success."

Practice 9: "Critics argue that class rankings motivate high-achieving students to excel. However, research indicates that intrinsic motivation and mastery-based learning produce better long-term outcomes than external competition. Schools can still recognize achievement through honors programs and awards without the stress of numerical rankings that pit students against each other."

Practice 10: B - "because they learn time management skills" is the most concise and grammatically correct option.

Check Your Understanding

  1. What are the three levels of editing, and what does each focus on?
  2. Name three common weaknesses in argument writing and how to fix them.
  3. Why is precision in word choice important?
  4. List three wordy phrases and their concise replacements.
  5. How do transitions improve argument writing?
Click to check your answers
  1. Level 1: Content and Structure (claim clarity, evidence quality, logic); Level 2: Style and Clarity (sentence variety, transitions, precise language); Level 3: Mechanics (spelling, punctuation, grammar).
  2. Examples: Vague claims (make them specific), weak evidence (add data/experts), missing explanations (connect evidence to claims), ignored counterarguments (acknowledge and refute), wordiness (cut unnecessary words).
  3. Precise words convey exact meaning, making arguments clearer and more persuasive. Vague words like "good" and "bad" don't tell readers specifically what you mean.
  4. "In order to" = "to"; "Due to the fact that" = "because"; "At this point in time" = "now"
  5. Transitions show the relationship between ideas, guide readers through your argument, and make your writing flow smoothly instead of feeling choppy.

Next Steps

  • Apply these editing strategies to your own writing assignments
  • Practice identifying weaknesses in published articles and opinion pieces
  • Complete the Unit Checkpoint to test your mastery of claims and evidence