Editing Workshop: Multi-Paragraph Essays
Learn
Good writers are also good editors! In this lesson, you'll practice finding and fixing common problems in multi-paragraph essays.
The ARMS Editing Strategy
- A - Add: Add missing words, details, or transitions
- R - Remove: Remove words or sentences that don't belong
- M - Move: Move sentences or paragraphs to better places
- S - Substitute: Replace weak words with stronger ones
Common Essay Problems to Fix
- Missing transitions: Ideas jump around without connecting words
- Off-topic sentences: Sentences that don't support the main idea
- Weak introduction: No hook or unclear main idea
- Missing conclusion: Essay ends suddenly without wrapping up
- Repetition: Saying the same thing multiple times
Examples
Before Editing:
"I like pizza. Pizza is good. I like pepperoni pizza. I like cheese pizza. Pizza is my favorite food."
After Editing:
"Pizza is my favorite food for many reasons. First, I love the stretchy, melted cheese on top. Additionally, pepperoni adds a delicious, slightly spicy flavor. Whether it's plain cheese or loaded with toppings, pizza always makes me happy!"
Fixed: Combined repetitive sentences, added transitions, included specific details, and created a better structure.
Practice
Find and fix problems in these essay excerpts.
1. What's wrong with this introduction? "This essay is about cats. Cats are animals. I will tell you about cats."
A) It's too long
B) It has no hook and is repetitive
C) It has too many details
D) It uses big words
Answer
B) - The introduction is boring with no hook, and it repeats "cats" too many times without giving interesting information.
2. Which sentence does NOT belong in a paragraph about why homework is helpful? "Homework helps you practice. It makes you better at subjects. My dog ate my homework once. Homework prepares you for tests."
A) Homework helps you practice.
B) It makes you better at subjects.
C) My dog ate my homework once.
D) Homework prepares you for tests.
Answer
C) - "My dog ate my homework once" is off-topic and doesn't support why homework is helpful.
3. How should you fix: "I like summer. I like winter too." to show contrast?
A) I like summer. I like winter.
B) I like summer, but I also enjoy winter.
C) Summer winter I like.
D) I like I like summer winter.
Answer
B) - Using "but" and "also" connects the ideas and shows the relationship between them.
4. What transition should fill the blank? "Dolphins are very smart. _____, they can learn tricks and communicate with each other."
A) However
B) In conclusion
C) For example
D) But
Answer
C) - "For example" introduces specific examples that support the statement about dolphins being smart.
5. A student's essay has body paragraphs but no conclusion. What should they add?
A) More body paragraphs
B) A paragraph that restates the main idea and gives a final thought
C) Another introduction
D) Just the word "The End"
Answer
B) - Every essay needs a conclusion that wraps up the main idea and leaves the reader with something to think about.
6. Which is a better topic sentence? A) "There are many things." B) "Exercise has three important benefits for kids."
A) Option A is better
B) Option B is better
C) Both are equally good
D) Neither is good
Answer
B) - Option B is specific and tells the reader exactly what the paragraph will be about.
7. What's the problem with ending an essay like this? "So yeah, that's what I think about recycling and stuff."
A) It's too long
B) It's too informal and doesn't restate the main idea clearly
C) It has too many facts
D) It uses transition words
Answer
B) - The ending is too casual ("yeah," "stuff") and doesn't properly summarize the essay's main points.
8. Read: "Birds can fly. Also, birds can fly high. In addition, birds fly in the sky." What editing fix is needed?
A) Add more sentences
B) Remove repetition and combine ideas
C) Add more transition words
D) Make sentences longer
Answer
B) - All three sentences say basically the same thing. They should be combined or replaced with varied information.
9. Where should this sentence go? "In conclusion, reading is important for everyone."
A) At the beginning of the essay
B) In the middle of a body paragraph
C) At the end of the essay
D) Anywhere is fine
Answer
C) - "In conclusion" signals the ending, so this sentence belongs in the conclusion paragraph.
10. Using the ARMS strategy, what should you do if a paragraph has a sentence that doesn't fit the topic?
A) Add more sentences like it
B) Remove the off-topic sentence
C) Move it to the beginning
D) Substitute it with a number
Answer
B) - The "R" in ARMS stands for Remove - take out words or sentences that don't belong.
Next Steps
- Practice using ARMS to edit your own writing
- Read your essays out loud to find awkward sentences
- Ask a friend to read your work and give feedback
- Continue to the Unit Checkpoint