Grade: Grade 11 Subject: English Language Arts Unit: Rhetorical Synthesis Lesson: 5 of 6 SAT: Craft+Structure ACT: Reading

Editing Workshop: Refining Synthesis Writing

Learn

Strong synthesis writing requires careful editing and revision. This lesson teaches you to identify and fix common problems in synthesis essays, skills essential for both timed test writing (SAT/ACT) and longer academic assignments.

The Three-Pass Editing Strategy

Edit your synthesis writing in three focused passes:

Pass 1: Structure and Logic

  • Does the thesis clearly set up a synthesis (not just summary)?
  • Does each body paragraph have a clear central point?
  • Are sources integrated to support your argument?
  • Do transitions show relationships between ideas?
  • Does the conclusion synthesize rather than merely repeat?

Pass 2: Source Integration

  • Are quotes, paraphrases, and summaries used appropriately?
  • Is every source properly attributed?
  • Are signal phrases varied and accurate?
  • Is the balance between sources and analysis appropriate?
  • Are source relationships clearly articulated?

Pass 3: Style and Mechanics

  • Are sentences clear and varied in structure?
  • Is word choice precise and appropriate?
  • Are grammar and punctuation correct?
  • Is the tone consistent and academic?

Common Synthesis Writing Problems

Problem Example Solution
Source Dumping "Smith says A. Jones says B. Lee says C." Integrate sources within analytical sentences that show relationships
Missing Attribution "Studies show that exercise improves mood." Name specific sources: "According to Martinez's 2022 study..."
Quote Overload Paragraph is 80% quoted material Use more paraphrases; save quotes for key phrases
Weak Transitions "Also, another source discusses..." Use transitions that show logical relationships: "While X argues..., Y presents an alternative..."
Summary Thesis "This essay will discuss three sources about climate." Take a position: "Although experts agree on X, their proposed solutions reveal fundamental disagreements about Y."

Strengthening Source Integration

Before (Weak Integration):

"Social media affects teenagers. 'Teenagers spend an average of seven hours daily on social media' (Thompson). This is a lot of time. Smith says this time could be spent on homework. However, Garcia disagrees."

After (Strong Integration):

"The debate over social media's impact on teenagers centers on how they allocate their time. Thompson's finding that teenagers average seven hours daily on these platforms alarmed researchers like Smith, who argues this time displaces homework and sleep. However, Garcia challenges this zero-sum framing, noting that teenagers often multitask and that social media can facilitate collaborative learning. This disagreement suggests that measuring screen time alone may not capture the complexity of how teenagers actually use technology."

Transition Words for Synthesis

  • To show agreement: similarly, likewise, in the same way, correspondingly, along these lines
  • To show contrast: however, conversely, on the other hand, in contrast, whereas, while
  • To show development: furthermore, moreover, building on this, extending this idea
  • To show qualification: although, while acknowledging, despite, even though, to some extent
  • To show synthesis: taken together, collectively, when viewed alongside, integrating these perspectives

Examples

Study these before-and-after revisions to understand effective editing.

Example 1: Revising a Thesis Statement

Before: "Many authors have written about technology in education. This essay will examine what they say."

After: "While education researchers agree that technology transforms learning, their disagreements about implementation strategies reveal an underlying tension between innovation and equity that schools must address."

Why it's better: The revised thesis establishes a synthesis framework by identifying both consensus and disagreement, and it signals the essay's analytical contribution.

Example 2: Improving Source Integration

Before: "Parks are important. Johnson says parks help mental health. Williams says parks help physical health. Parks should be funded."

After: "Research demonstrates that urban parks provide both mental and physical health benefits that justify public investment. Johnson's psychological studies show reduced anxiety and depression among park users, while Williams's public health research documents decreased rates of obesity and cardiovascular disease in neighborhoods with green spaces. Together, their findings suggest that parks function as preventive healthcare infrastructure, potentially reducing long-term medical costs."

Why it's better: Sources are integrated within an analytical framework that explains their relationship and builds toward a synthesized conclusion.

Example 3: Strengthening Transitions

Before: "Chen argues that renewable energy creates jobs. But Martinez says renewable energy is expensive. Another point is that renewable energy helps the environment."

After: "Proponents of renewable energy, including Chen, emphasize its economic benefits, particularly job creation in manufacturing and installation sectors. However, Martinez raises concerns about transition costs, noting that initial infrastructure investments may strain budgets. This economic debate must be weighed alongside environmental considerations, as the long-term costs of climate change may ultimately exceed short-term renewable investments."

Why it's better: Transitions clearly signal relationships between sources and ideas, creating a logical flow rather than disconnected statements.

Practice

Apply your editing skills to identify and fix problems in these synthesis writing samples.

Practice Set: Editing Synthesis Writing

1. Which revision best fixes this thesis? Original: "This essay will look at three articles about exercise."

  1. This essay will look at four articles about exercise.
  2. Three articles discuss the benefits of exercise.
  3. While research consistently supports exercise's health benefits, experts disagree about optimal duration and intensity, suggesting that personalized approaches may be more effective than one-size-fits-all recommendations.
  4. Exercise is good according to three articles.

2. Identify the problem: "Studies show that reading improves vocabulary. Research indicates that reading enhances critical thinking. Evidence suggests that reading builds empathy."

  1. The sentences are too short
  2. Sources are not properly attributed to specific researchers
  3. There are grammatical errors
  4. The topic is inappropriate

3. What is the main problem with this passage? "Climate change is a major issue. Smith says 'rising temperatures threaten ecosystems worldwide.' Thompson states that 'without immediate action, irreversible damage will occur.' Johnson notes that 'the scientific consensus is overwhelming.' Martinez adds that 'economic costs will be enormous.'"

  1. It uses too few sources
  2. It relies too heavily on direct quotes without analysis or synthesis
  3. The quotes are too short
  4. The topic is not appropriate for synthesis

4. Which transition best connects these two sentences? "Chen argues that social media increases political engagement. ___ Park's research shows that online discussions rarely change minds."

  1. Also,
  2. However,
  3. Therefore,
  4. Finally,

5. What revision would most improve this sentence? "The author says that technology is changing education a lot."

  1. Change "a lot" to "significantly"
  2. Name the specific author and be more precise about what technology changes
  3. Add "very" before "a lot"
  4. Remove "a lot"

6. In the three-pass editing strategy, which pass focuses on whether sources are properly attributed?

  1. Pass 1: Structure and Logic
  2. Pass 2: Source Integration
  3. Pass 3: Style and Mechanics
  4. All three passes equally

7. Which conclusion best synthesizes the essay's ideas? (Essay argued that urban gardens provide both environmental and community benefits)

  1. In conclusion, urban gardens are nice.
  2. This essay discussed urban gardens.
  3. Urban gardens thus represent a rare policy solution that simultaneously addresses environmental degradation and social isolation, making them a priority for municipal investment.
  4. More research is needed about urban gardens.

8. What is the problem with this synthesis attempt? "Martinez argues for renewable energy. On the other hand, Johnson also supports renewable energy."

  1. The sentences are too short
  2. "On the other hand" incorrectly suggests contrast when sources agree
  3. Too many sources are cited
  4. The topic is too narrow

9. Which revision best addresses the "quote overload" problem?

  1. Add more quotes from additional sources
  2. Paraphrase most source material and reserve direct quotes for particularly important or eloquent passages
  3. Remove all quotes entirely
  4. Make quotes longer for more context

10. When editing for "structure and logic," you should primarily ask:

  1. Are all commas placed correctly?
  2. Are signal phrases varied enough?
  3. Does each paragraph support the thesis and connect to adjacent paragraphs?
  4. Are quotes accurate?

Check Your Understanding

Confirm your editing skills before moving to the final lesson.

Can you:

  • Apply the three-pass editing strategy to your own writing?
  • Identify and fix source dumping, missing attribution, and quote overload?
  • Revise weak thesis statements to set up true synthesis?
  • Select transitions that accurately reflect source relationships?
  • Strengthen source integration through analysis and connection?

Practice Answers

1. C | 2. B | 3. B | 4. B | 5. B | 6. B | 7. C | 8. B | 9. B | 10. C

Next Steps

  • Practice the three-pass editing strategy on a recent essay
  • Create a personal checklist of editing priorities based on your common errors
  • Continue to the final lesson: Unit Checkpoint