Grade: Grade 10 Subject: English Language Arts Unit: Synthesis Writing Lesson: 5 of 6 SAT: ExpressionOfIdeas ACT: English

Editing Workshop: Refining Synthesis Essays

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This lesson focuses on editing and refining synthesis essays to strengthen clarity, coherence, and argumentative power. Good editing transforms a competent draft into a polished, persuasive essay.

The Three-Pass Editing Method

Effective editing requires multiple focused passes:

Pass 1: Argument and Structure (Macro-level)

  • Does the thesis clearly synthesize multiple perspectives?
  • Does each paragraph advance the argument?
  • Are transitions between paragraphs logical?
  • Is the essay organized for maximum impact?

Pass 2: Source Integration (Synthesis-level)

  • Are sources integrated smoothly, not dropped in?
  • Does the writer's voice remain dominant?
  • Are signal phrases varied and accurate?
  • Is there analysis after each source use?

Pass 3: Sentences and Style (Micro-level)

  • Are sentences clear and concise?
  • Is word choice precise?
  • Are there grammar, punctuation, or spelling errors?
  • Does the prose flow smoothly?

Common Synthesis Essay Problems

Problem 1: Source Dumping

Symptom: Paragraphs that read like lists of sources with no connecting analysis

Solution: Add your own sentences between and after source references that explain their significance

Problem 2: Lost Voice

Symptom: The essay reports what sources say but lacks the writer's perspective

Solution: Ensure every topic sentence is your claim, and add analysis showing your interpretation

Problem 3: Weak Synthesis

Symptom: Sources appear one at a time without being connected to each other

Solution: Explicitly show how sources agree, disagree, or complicate one another

Problem 4: Repetitive Signal Phrases

Symptom: Every source is introduced with "According to..." or "Author X states..."

Solution: Use varied signal phrases that indicate the source's relationship to your argument

Problem 5: Overcitation

Symptom: Too many direct quotes, making the essay choppy

Solution: Paraphrase more often; reserve quotes for particularly powerful or precise language

Editing for Concision

Synthesis essays can become wordy. Watch for:

  • Redundant phrases: "In my opinion, I think..." (choose one)
  • Unnecessary qualifiers: "It is somewhat possible that..." (be direct)
  • Wordy constructions: "The reason why is because..." (use "because")
  • Excessive source tagging: Not every sentence needs "According to Source A"

Transitions in Synthesis Writing

Strong transitions show how ideas connect:

  • Addition: Furthermore, Additionally, Moreover
  • Contrast: However, Nevertheless, In contrast
  • Causation: Therefore, Consequently, As a result
  • Elaboration: Specifically, In other words, For instance
  • Synthesis: Taken together, This suggests, Considering both

Examples

Example 1: Editing for Source Integration

Before (source dumping):

"According to Smith (2020), remote work increases productivity. Jones (2021) states that remote work reduces collaboration. A study by Brown (2022) found that remote work affects different industries differently."

After (integrated synthesis):

"While Smith (2020) found that remote work increases individual productivity, this benefit may come at a cost: Jones (2021) documented a significant decline in spontaneous collaboration among remote teams. These seemingly contradictory findings may be reconciled by Brown's (2022) research, which reveals that remote work's effects vary dramatically across industries—suggesting that neither blanket adoption nor rejection makes sense as policy."

Example 2: Strengthening Voice

Before (lost voice):

"Source A says social media is harmful. Source B disagrees. Source C offers a middle ground."

After (strong voice):

"The debate over social media's impact has produced two extreme camps—those who see only danger (Source A) and those who emphasize only benefits (Source B). However, this binary framing obscures the more nuanced reality that Source C reveals: social media's effects depend largely on how platforms are designed and used. This insight should guide both policy discussions and individual choices."

Example 3: Editing for Concision

Before (wordy):

"In my personal opinion, I believe that the evidence presented in the various sources that I have analyzed and examined seems to suggest that there is a possibility that climate change could potentially be affecting agricultural output in certain regions of the world."

After (concise):

"The evidence suggests that climate change is already affecting agricultural output in vulnerable regions."

Practice

Complete these editing exercises to sharpen your revision skills.

Practice 1: Identify the Problem

Read this paragraph and identify which problem it demonstrates (source dumping, lost voice, weak synthesis, repetitive signal phrases, or overcitation):

"According to Martinez, homework helps students learn. According to Johnson, homework causes stress. According to Lee, homework varies in effectiveness. According to Williams, homework should be optional."

Practice 2: Fix Source Dumping

Revise this paragraph to add connecting analysis:

"Smith found that arts education improves test scores. Jones documented increased creativity in students with arts training. Brown noted that arts programs are often cut due to budget constraints."

Practice 3: Add Voice

Revise this paragraph to include the writer's perspective:

"Researchers have studied the effects of video games on youth. Some say games are harmful. Others say games are beneficial. The debate continues."

Practice 4: Vary Signal Phrases

Rewrite these sentences with varied signal phrases that show source relationships:

  • "Author A states that exercise improves mood."
  • "Author B states that exercise reduces anxiety."
  • "Author C states that exercise benefits depend on consistency."

Practice 5: Edit for Concision

Reduce this sentence to its essential meaning:

"It is widely believed by many experts in the field that there is a strong possibility that the implementation of renewable energy sources could potentially have the effect of reducing carbon emissions in the atmosphere over a period of time in the future."

Practice 6: Strengthen Transitions

Add appropriate transitions to connect these sentences:

"Universal basic income could reduce poverty. _____ it might discourage work. _____ pilot programs in Finland showed mixed results. _____ the policy remains controversial among economists."

Practice 7: Balance Quotation and Paraphrase

This paragraph uses too many direct quotes. Revise it to use more paraphrase while keeping one impactful quote:

"Scholar A says 'social media platforms are designed to be addictive.' Scholar B argues that 'these platforms exploit psychological vulnerabilities.' Scholar C notes that 'the attention economy prioritizes engagement over wellbeing.' Scholar D concludes that 'regulation is necessary to protect users.'"

Practice 8: Improve Topic Sentences

These topic sentences are weak. Revise each to make a clear claim:

  • "This paragraph is about technology in education."
  • "There are many views on immigration policy."
  • "Next, I will discuss the economy."

Practice 9: Full Paragraph Revision

Revise this entire paragraph for clarity, synthesis, and voice:

"Many students have opinions about school uniforms. According to one source, uniforms reduce bullying. According to another source, uniforms limit self-expression. A third source says uniforms save families money. But other sources disagree. The issue is complex. More research is needed."

Practice 10: Three-Pass Edit

Apply the three-pass editing method to this paragraph, identifying one issue at each level (macro, synthesis, micro):

"Climate change effects many ecosystems. According to Smith, coral reefs are dying. Jones says polar bears are endangered. In my opinion, I think these are serious problems. Brown notes that 'climate change is the defining issue of our time.' We need to take action. Therefore governments should do something about this pressing issue that affects us all in various ways."

Practice 11: Peer Edit Simulation

Using the paragraph from Practice 10, write three specific, actionable pieces of feedback as if you were a peer editor.

Practice 12: Self-Edit Your Own Work

Apply the three-pass editing method to a synthesis paragraph you have written. Complete each pass and note at least two improvements per pass:

  • Pass 1 (Argument/Structure): What did you change?
  • Pass 2 (Source Integration): What did you change?
  • Pass 3 (Sentences/Style): What did you change?

Check Your Understanding

Answer these questions to assess your editing skills.

  1. Why should you edit in multiple passes rather than fixing everything at once?
  2. What is the difference between source dumping and source integration?
  3. How can you tell if an essay has lost the writer's voice?
  4. When is it appropriate to use a direct quote versus a paraphrase?
  5. What makes a transition effective in synthesis writing?

Next Steps

  • Apply the three-pass method to your synthesis essay drafts
  • Create an editing checklist personalized to your common errors
  • Practice peer editing with a partner to see issues from another perspective
  • Proceed to the Unit Checkpoint to demonstrate your mastery