Eliminating Wordiness
📖 Learn
What is Wordiness?
Wordiness occurs when a sentence uses more words than necessary to convey its meaning. Wordy writing is less clear, less engaging, and harder to follow. Concise writing, by contrast, communicates ideas directly and powerfully.
Eliminating wordiness is essential for effective writing. Whether you're writing an essay, email, or standardized test response, concise prose demonstrates clear thinking and respect for your reader's time.
Common Types of Wordiness
| Type | Wordy Example | Concise Version |
|---|---|---|
| Redundant Pairs | each and every, first and foremost | each, first |
| Redundant Modifiers | completely finished, advance planning | finished, planning |
| Unnecessary Phrases | due to the fact that, in order to | because, to |
| Expletive Constructions | There are many students who... | Many students... |
| Passive Voice (unnecessary) | The experiment was conducted by the team | The team conducted the experiment |
| Nominalizations | make a decision, give consideration to | decide, consider |
- Delete empty phrases: Remove filler words like "basically," "actually," "really," and "very"
- Replace phrases with single words: "at this point in time" becomes "now"
- Use active voice: Put the subject before the verb when possible
- Avoid redundancy: Don't repeat information unnecessarily
- Combine sentences: Merge short, choppy sentences that repeat ideas
- Use strong verbs: Replace "to be" verbs with action verbs when possible
Common Wordy Phrases to Avoid
| Wordy Phrase | Better Alternative |
|---|---|
| at the present time | now, currently |
| in the event that | if |
| for the purpose of | to, for |
| in spite of the fact that | although, despite |
| has the ability to | can |
| a large number of | many |
| make reference to | refer to |
| in close proximity to | near |
💡 Examples
Example 1: Removing Redundant Pairs
Wordy: Each and every student must submit their work on time.
Analysis: "Each" and "every" mean the same thing. Using both is redundant.
Revised: Each student must submit their work on time.
Example 2: Replacing Wordy Phrases
Wordy: Due to the fact that the weather was bad, the game was canceled.
Analysis: "Due to the fact that" is a five-word phrase that means "because."
Revised: Because of bad weather, the game was canceled.
Example 3: Eliminating Expletive Constructions
Wordy: There are many factors that contribute to climate change.
Analysis: "There are...that" delays the subject unnecessarily.
Revised: Many factors contribute to climate change.
Example 4: Converting Passive to Active Voice
Wordy: The report was written by the research team over the course of three months.
Analysis: Passive voice adds unnecessary words. "Over the course of" can be shortened.
Revised: The research team wrote the report in three months.
Example 5: Eliminating Nominalizations
Wordy: The committee made a decision to give consideration to the new proposal.
Analysis: "Made a decision" = decided; "give consideration to" = consider
Revised: The committee decided to consider the new proposal.
✏️ Practice
For each question, choose the most concise revision that maintains the original meaning.
1. "It is important that we should make every effort to arrive on time."
A) It is important that we arrive on time.
B) We should try to arrive on time.
C) Making every effort to arrive on time is important.
D) We must arrive on time.
2. "In my opinion, I think that the policy should be changed."
A) In my opinion, the policy should be changed.
B) I think that the policy should be changed.
C) The policy should be changed.
D) I personally believe the policy should be changed.
3. "The reason why she left early was because of the weather."
A) The reason she left early was because of the weather.
B) She left early because of the weather.
C) The reason why she left was the weather.
D) Because of the weather was why she left early.
4. "At this point in time, we are not accepting applications."
A) At this point, we are not accepting applications.
B) Currently, we are not accepting applications.
C) We are not accepting applications now.
D) We are not currently accepting applications.
5. "The fact of the matter is that students need more practice."
A) The fact is that students need more practice.
B) Students need more practice.
C) The matter is that students need more practice.
D) It is a fact that students need more practice.
6. "There are some scientists who believe that the data is flawed."
A) Some scientists believe that the data is flawed.
B) There are scientists believing the data is flawed.
C) Some scientists believe the data is flawed.
D) Scientists who believe the data is flawed exist.
7. "He made the decision to return back to his hometown."
A) He made the decision to return to his hometown.
B) He decided to return to his hometown.
C) He decided to go back to his hometown.
D) The decision was made to return to his hometown.
8. "In order to succeed in this class, students must study."
A) In order to succeed, students must study.
B) To succeed in this class, students must study.
C) For the purpose of succeeding, students must study.
D) Students must study in order to succeed in class.
9. "Despite the fact that he was tired, he finished the race."
A) Despite being tired, he finished the race.
B) Although tired, he finished the race.
C) He was tired, but he finished the race.
D) In spite of his tiredness, he finished the race.
10. "The CEO has the ability to make important decisions quickly."
A) The CEO is able to make important decisions quickly.
B) The CEO can make important decisions quickly.
C) The CEO possesses the ability to make quick decisions.
D) Important decisions can be made quickly by the CEO.
Click to reveal answers
- B) We should try to arrive on time. — Removes the unnecessary "It is important that" and "make every effort" becomes "try."
- C) The policy should be changed. — Both "In my opinion" and "I think" are redundant; one or neither is sufficient.
- B) She left early because of the weather. — "The reason why...was because" is doubly redundant.
- C) We are not accepting applications now. — Most concise while preserving meaning.
- B) Students need more practice. — "The fact of the matter is that" adds no meaning.
- C) Some scientists believe the data is flawed. — Eliminates "There are...who" and removes unnecessary "that."
- B) He decided to return to his hometown. — "Made the decision" becomes "decided"; "return back" is redundant.
- B) To succeed in this class, students must study. — "In order to" becomes simply "to."
- B) Although tired, he finished the race. — Most concise; preserves the contrast effectively.
- B) The CEO can make important decisions quickly. — "Has the ability to" becomes "can."
✅ Check Your Understanding
Question 1: Why is concise writing more effective than wordy writing?
Reveal Answer
Concise writing is more effective because it: (1) respects the reader's time by getting to the point quickly; (2) improves clarity by reducing opportunities for confusion; (3) maintains reader engagement by avoiding tedious repetition; (4) demonstrates confident, clear thinking; and (5) is more memorable since key ideas aren't buried in unnecessary words.
Question 2: When might passive voice actually be preferable to active voice?
Reveal Answer
Passive voice is preferable when: (1) the doer of the action is unknown ("The window was broken"); (2) the doer is less important than the action ("The vaccine was administered to millions"); (3) you want to emphasize the action or result; (4) in scientific writing where objectivity is valued; or (5) when tact requires not naming the responsible party. The key is choosing deliberately, not defaulting to passive out of habit.
Question 3: What is the difference between eliminating wordiness and oversimplifying?
Reveal Answer
Eliminating wordiness means removing words that add no meaning, while oversimplifying means cutting words that DO add meaning. A concise sentence is not necessarily a short sentence; complex ideas may require many words. The goal is to use exactly as many words as needed, no more and no fewer. Each word should earn its place.
Question 4: How can you identify wordiness in your own writing?
Reveal Answer
To identify wordiness: (1) Read your writing aloud; awkward passages often contain wordiness; (2) Look for common wordy phrases like "in order to," "due to the fact that"; (3) Circle intensifiers like "very," "really," "actually" and delete most; (4) Highlight "to be" verbs and see if action verbs could replace them; (5) Count words in long sentences and check for wordiness; (6) Wait a day and re-read with fresh eyes.
🚀 Next Steps
- Review any concepts that felt challenging
- Move on to the next lesson when ready
- Return to practice problems periodically for review